Dear Abby: I’m insulted that I was invited to a wedding – watching it on a live stream

Dear ABBY: A friend’s daughter is getting married and sent an email notification with a link to watch a live stream of the ceremony. I’ve never been invited to NOT attend an event before, and frankly, my feelings are hurt. (My husband was an incredible artist. Should I send a live stream of others personally enjoying his work?)

Does etiquette require me to send a wedding gift? I would have understood not being invited if they were keeping it a little affair, but inviting a widow to witness a friend’s emotional and romantic moment in the solitude of her own home seems cruel. Am I out of touch with what is socially acceptable? – DOESN’T GO TO TEXAS

Dear DO NOT go: If the wedding is being held at a distance from where you live, then the live stream invitation was probably an attempt to be considerate. Today, many significant events are broadcast live, including funerals and memorials. If you find watching the ceremony depressing and don’t prefer to “tune in”, then don’t. And, no, you’re not Wanted to send a gift. (A sweet e-card congratulating the couple would be a nice gesture.)

Dear ABBY: My brother is married to a very beautiful woman. It’s the second marriage for both of them, and they both work, although they don’t manage money well. They have traveled to family events and ended up without money for food, rental cars, etc.

My sister-in-law has heard about a girls trip that my bridesmaids, some close friends and I are going to take. She has invited herself, and I don’t know how to politely tell her that she can’t come unless she has the money to pay her share. It would kill me to hurt her feelings. Please advise. – LADY IN CHARGE OUT WEST

DEAR MADAM: Who paid for the food and car rental that this couple didn’t have money for? Have these relatives ever been reimbursed? If you don’t want to foot the bill for your SIL on this trip (which she invited herself on), you’ll have to work up the courage to tell her that under no circumstances will you. If her feelings get hurt when you make it clear (that you’re not a pushover), so be it.

Dear ABBY: I am a 79 year old woman. I’ve had a boyfriend since high school who is five months younger than me. A few weeks, sometimes months, before my birthday is over, she’ll come up with comments about being a few months younger. These comments range between sarcastic and downright ugly.

I think she thinks she’s smart, but after so many years of this, it’s not funny anymore. When she makes a comment this year about my BIG birthday, what can my comeback be, basically telling her to knock it off? – SAME AGE IN FLORIDA

DEAR SAME AGE: And about this, said with a smile of course: “Oh, honey, age is just a number. My birthday may come before yours, but you are FAIR behind me I’m trying the number before you get there. At this point, I consider every day a blessing and so should you.”

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.