The ‘take a pregnancy test with me’ trend is taking TikTok by storm – here’s why women should think twice

Finding out I was pregnant with my second son in 2016 was an exciting and confusing time.

I peed on two or maybe three sticks and felt all kinds of emotions before sharing the good news with my husband.

In a time before TikTok and long before the “take a pregnancy test with me” trend that’s doing the rounds now, sharing the moment with my husband was as far as the news went that day.

The reason for my caution was not because I was not excited, but because I had been in the same situation with positive pregnancy test results on three previous occasions.

And none of those happy moments ended with a baby.

“I hibernate, heal, and grieve”

Three more pregnancy tests with double lines shared with my husband, which ended with me in the hospital after a miscarriage feeling empty and sad.

I’ve written about my miscarriage experiences before and I don’t believe it’s something to hide, but in those days and weeks after my losses, I went into hibernation. I was cured. I was saddened.

I stayed close to home and the people I loved most and eventually I was strong enough to handle the sadness in my own gradual way.

In a similar way to my gradual recovery, I gradually told people about my pregnancy in 2016.

At first it was just my husband, then a few close friends. Then my employer and at 12 weeks, when the first three anxious months were over, we told our family and community.

The old-fashioned, unofficial rule of thumb about not telling anyone you’re pregnant for the often awkward first few months is tough. Hard because you might be exhausted, sick, or just bursting with excitement.

The reason many women chose to keep that news private or at least partially private is that 85 percent of miscarriages occur in the first 12 weeks.

“How They Can Help You Through Grief”

Of course, it all depends on the individual choice of how you want to treat those first months of pregnancy with your nearest and dearest.

The same supportive friends who celebrate your happy pregnancy announcement are likely the same people you want to help you through a loss.

And if your friends don’t know, how can they help you grieve?

But sharing news on a global scale on social media in real time because of a trend is a completely different scenario that requires careful thought.

Before you commit to sharing your happy pregnancy test news with the world, it might be worth asking yourself this question first: how might you feel sharing bad news with the same audience—if your pregnancy journey pregnancy ends suddenly?

“A Careful Exciting Time”

Of course, many TikTok users find great comfort in sharing the good, bad and devastating parts of their fertility journeys online, and I can see the appeal of sharing the happy news with as many people as possible. .

But for me, the pregnancy stick test result part is less of a big happy, simple moment to share, but an exciting, careful time that comes with a host of other emotions that take time to process. was processed.

In 2016, with my last successful pregnancy, I actually enjoyed the fact that it was a secret that only those closest to me knew.

It felt special and private and I didn’t have to always tell people who I was with every intricate detail. It also meant that the people around me didn’t worry along with me or treat me like an invalid.

One way to avoid this trend entirely would be to film the happy moment of your pregnancy test results and keep sharing the footage until you feel more comfortable letting a wider audience know you’re pregnant.

“My baby making days are behind me”

Purple Wiggle dancer John Pearce and his wife, luxury fashion buyer Jessie Adamo Pearce, caught all the big moments on camera and then unleashed an emotional meltdown on fans and followers when Jessie was just over 12 weeks old.

In 2024 and at the age of 45, this is not a dilemma I need to worry about – my baby-making days are behind me.

But for anyone thinking of jumping on the bandwagon, please enjoy and celebrate your happy pregnancy news and then carefully decide if breaking it off right away is for you.