Dear Abby: I don’t want any more pets, but my sister is making us take care of her dog

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been pet owners for 30 years. Our last beloved dog died six months ago. We are in our late 50’s and still work full time. We agreed that we would not take any more animals because we would like to travel without worrying about a change.

My sister has a big, well-behaved, old dog, and she’s been hinting at me keeping him so he can go stay at her son’s apartment in Florida that doesn’t allow pets. Her dog may be well behaved, but he shakes and shakes my head and everything flies all over my house and furniture. Damn! I recommended her to a friend of mine who would take good care of her.

After our last dog died, we cleaned the house, bought new carpets and got rid of the dog smell. We are not ready for any animals in our house. I commute to my job by train and, frankly, I don’t have time to look at her dog.

Since I referred my friend, my sister has stopped answering my calls and texts. I feel bad, but her pet is not my responsibility. My husband and I do not want to share our home with her 89 pound dog. Her request was arrogant, but I still feel guilty. What should I do? Do you just deal with silence? I don’t think I deserve the punishment I’m getting. – IN DOGHOHOSE IN TENNESSEE

DEAR DOG: What you do now is stick to your guns and refuse to submit to your sister’s emotional blackmail. She should have accepted your rejection to be the answer to her big, clumsy, dirty problem with grace. You have been a responsible pet owner. You were kind enough to recommend someone who would take good care of your sister’s furry family member and you have a RIGHT to enjoy your freedom now.

DEAR ABBY: For more than seven years, my partner and I have been in a romantic relationship. In the past, our relationship was full of love. We held hands, kissed and hugged in public. However, over the past year, his love has waned. While I believe he still loves me, I suspect he no longer finds me attractive.

I have talked to him about it and explained the effect it has on my self-esteem and that I cry myself to sleep. He attributes the lack of passion to fatigue, despite having plenty of energy for other activities. He is 67; I am 53. I don’t know what to do because he refuses to seek counseling. Please help. – ROMANTIC LADY IN TEXAS

DEAR LADY: Just because your partner refuses to seek counseling doesn’t mean you can’t benefit from it. His diminished interest in love and all that comes with it is not necessarily a reflection on you.

Some men in his age group experience a similar lack of interest in sex. However, when they see the effect it can have on their partner, they consult a specialist to ask if something can be done about it. Your partner’s doctor may refer him to someone, but only if he is willing to ask.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.