Nova Hawthorne has been working in the sex industry for a while now and while she has always had clients who are married or in relationships, she has now noticed an increase in the fantasy of relationships.
Ms Hawthorne, 29, said she thinks it comes down to “the existence of forbidden fruit” and people wanting to lean into the taboo of ignoring monogamy.
“The thrill of secrecy and the taboo nature of a relationship can really heighten one’s sense of arousal and pleasure,” she told news.com.au.
“It’s such an exciting fantasy for so many.”
Mrs. Hawthorne understands the appeal.
“Think about those times when you’ve met a new partner, and it’s so deeply passionate and incredibly exciting,” she said.
“But you’re in a committed relationship and don’t expect to experience that new feeling again. Why shouldn’t we explore fantasy in a healthy way?”
If the issue of attachment is your block, Ms. Hawthorne said there are “safe and ethical ways” for individuals to explore that fantasy without cheating.
“Make sure you’ve had a conversation with your partner about your sexual fantasy and check they’re on board with some sexual exploration,” she advised.
“Role-playing can be a fun way to exercise a cheating fantasy without compromising your relationship.”
Ms. Hawthorne said you can really put in a little effort, go out, dress up and pretend you’re meeting your partner for the first time.
Of course, there are plenty of people who don’t want to include their partner in their dating fantasies and instead look for someone like Mrs. Hawthorne.
“Tricks and housewrecking role plays are my number one most requested show. I believe there are a lot of men out there with a secret cheating trick,” she said.
“So do I think these members would actually act on their secret desire online? Yes, I think a lot of them would, not all, but enough.”
The 29-year-old said the men she deals with can become very bold when it comes to cheating on their partners.
“I had a member who was constantly video calling me from his bed. He turned the phone over to discover his girlfriend sleeping next to him,” she said.
“This is not unusual. I’m often asked to use their wife’s names in roleplay.”
The homewrecker roleplay is different from the cheating fantasy because it usually implies that men are looking for her to seduce them into cheating on their wives.
“In this role-playing game, I’m the bad guy and the boy is fascinated by my sexual allure. I have often considered the psychological underpinnings of this fantasy, and my initial thought is that these people are acting out a fantasy of being wanted,” she said.
After all, Ms. Hawthorne thinks people aren’t just looking for affairs, whether they’re playing the roe deer or leading them—not just because of the sex.
“There are endless reasons outside of sexual satisfaction that someone might seek an affair. Emotional validation, self-discovery, human connection,” she said.
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