Dear Abby: My daughter’s massive puppy is a danger and a burden

Dear ABBY: I am a retiree with diabetes and heart problems. My husband is disabled. I am his sole caretaker when I have the energy to do so. Our grown daughter lives with us and works full time in the medical field on weekends. She practically does nothing around the house.

The real problem is that we have four dogs. Two of them are large. All four spend a lot of time at home. The youngest is a puppy that already weighs 50 kilograms. She is uncontrollable – jumping, biting, scratching my arms with her claws and barking. I have been a dog owner all my life and have never seen another one behave like this.

I was against getting the puppy, but was outvoted by my husband and daughter. Of course, once the novelty wore off, it became my responsibility to feed her, clean up her house training mess, and take care of her. I have begged my daughter to train her as promised, but she always has an excuse.

Abby, I’m exhausted! I’m about to say, “It’s the dog or me,” but I have nowhere else to go. My husband is barely mobile and is often confined to his bed. We had home health care last year, but that ended when Medicare would no longer pay. I barely take care of him and do whatever needs to be done. The dog is just too much. Help! –– PROTECTED IN TEXAS

DEAR OLD MAN: I know you’re exhausted, but enough. For the sake of your health, muster the strength to assert yourself. Is your daughter paying for food and rent? If not, give her a list of chores you expect her to do—including starting dog training classes with the pet she insists on becoming a family member. If she refuses, contact an animal rescue group to find her a new home. Then follow.

PS A large and unruly dog ​​can cause you or your husband to trip and fall, and the result can be disastrous. If your daughter decides to leave, she can take her dog wrecking ball with her. Problem solved.

Dear ABBY: I have a question about invitation etiquette. I want to invite family members and friends I haven’t seen or talked to in a while to my children’s birthday parties and special events like baptisms. However, I don’t want to seem like I’m asking for gifts or money.

I’ve heard it’s inappropriate to ask for “no gifts” on the invitation because that assumes gifts will be given. What is the proper etiquette for this? I want to see my family members, but I don’t want to offend them. — COME PARTY IN NEW YORK

DEAR CELEBRATION: I don’t see how family members who are invited to a child’s birthday party would be offended. If they want to participate, fine. If they can’t, so be it. However, children’s birthday parties require some kind of gift and it shouldn’t be difficult to provide something. Relatives and friends whose children are invited to the party will automatically bring a gift.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.