Dear ABBY: I met a man from another country online last year. In the beginning, we talked every day via video chat. We share a lot in common. We never have trouble holding our own conversations, and we consider each other’s emotions and needs without even trying.
Our communication is less frequent now that our relationship is maturing. With this newfound freedom from the phone, I’m beginning to question the wisdom of continuing to pursue a future together. Although we have never met in person, I feel that he is trustworthy and absolutely wonderful, I would even go so far as to say that he is my soul mate.
However, the questions that are always on my mind are: Am I crazy for thinking this is the real deal? Is it too good to be true? And if I don’t take this further, am I wasting my only chance at lasting love? — MATCHED IN MICHIGAN
HONORABLE SUPPORTED: This is not your “only” chance for lasting love. Whether this is the real deal or too good to be true remains to be seen. Because you found this match online, you should be careful. If possible, arrange to visit him at his home, which will give you the opportunity to meet his family and friends and observe his living situation. If he is sincere, he should welcome it. However, if he hesitates, consider that a significant red flag.
Dear ABBY: My older sister and I are educated professionals in our late 40s. We live in different states. Our father’s cognitive function and mobility are deteriorating, so my parents sold their large house in another state to downsize and move to a senior living community near me. The area I live in is affordable. Living near me is a logical choice as I am considerate and reliable and have often helped them and my in-laws in the past.
My sister has chosen to see my parents’ move as their choosing me over her. At first, she stopped talking to me. When I texted her and asked why I hadn’t heard from her, she said my texts “weren’t high on her priority list.” In another exchange, she told me she hoped my husband, who is being treated for a heart condition, would die before he could vote. Then, she stopped talking to our parents. During their last email exchange, she told my mom to cry on the shoulder of “the girl she chose.”
My sister has treated me similarly in the past, but she has never shut our parents down before. She called them often and they missed talking to her. I’m not sure reconciliation is an option, but it’s hard to witness her being so cruel during this time of extreme stress. What are your thoughts? — DRAMA OF BROTHERS IN GEORGIA
Dear DRAM: Your sister’s attempts to punish you and your parents for the decision they made only reinforced that they made the right one. I am sorry that she has been so successful in causing pain to all of you because none of you deserve her over the top reaction. By avoiding you, she has only succeeded in isolating herself from those who care for her.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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